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The nurse called the initial response police, who again outlined how what had happened may have been against the law, and passed me on to the Sapphire team, the Met police’s specialist sex crimes unit. I didn’t realise I had been sexually assaulted until a nurse, giving me the morning-after pill, explained it to me.īrodsky’s Yale study finds survivors of stealthing struggling to recognise their experience as sexual assault, writing that one woman describes her experience as “rape-adjacent” for lack of better language. My feelings of violation weren’t caused by the experience of unprotected sex itself, despite having been exposed to potential STIs and pregnancy it was my perpetrator’s abuse of my boundaries and his perceived entitlement to my body. I wasn’t aware a crime had been committed – I just felt violated, and my instinctive reaction was to wash it off. I took a cab to a nearby friend’s flat and went straight to her shower, not even thinking that I was washing away evidence of an assault. When I asked him if he had taken off the condom, he didn’t give a clear answer and appeared confused by my outrage and upset. On realising what had happened to me during my Tinder date, I rushed to get my things and leave his house. But, despite this, no one has so far been found guilty of it in the UK.
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Following a landmark case in Switzerland where a man was given a 12-month suspended sentence for removing a condom without his partner’s knowledge or consent, and a recent report by Yale law graduate Alexandra Brodsky, stealthing is attracting more mainstream attention. This catchy phrase doesn’t actually mean there’s a new trend but coins a new term for a kind of sexual assault. It refers to the act of deliberately removing a condom during sex without your partner’s knowledge or consent. “Stealthing” is the pop culture name to describe a “new sex trend” reported to be “on the rise”.